Queen of Monsters and Madness Page 12
“Do you want peace?” she echoed again. The warlord didn’t seem evil. If he truly wanted peace, maybe she was exactly where she needed to be.
“I want absolution,” he murmured. “I want the voices of the past to quiet.”
“I can’t give you that, but—” Goosebumps broke out on her arms at the way he stilled at her words, like a predator reading for the hunt. Be brave, Sage. Brave. She swallowed and continued: “I can give you a chance to make a difference.”
“Be careful,” Tehl whispered in her ear. “You’re playing a game you don’t know the rules to.”
She blinked and ignored him, watching the man who held her future in his hands, and quite possibly, the future of her kingdom.
“Do you really think you can erase hundreds of years of bad blood and animosity?”
She chose her words carefully. “No. As much as I would like to say that prejudice will be a thing of the past, it’s not possible. Since the beginning of time, man has found a way to label each other, and then judge those labels. There have always been divisions, and there always will be.”
“So, what are you saying?”
She stared straight into his handsome face. “I’m saying that I can’t change the past, but we can change the future. Together,” she added.
His head cocked. “Together?”
“Together.”
She flinched when, in a single fluid motion, he stood and leaned toward her, the ends of his hair tickling her cheeks.
“I accept your proposal, my lady.”
Her eyes were huge when he kissed each of her cheeks. He smiled at her reaction, his white teeth flashing.
“In Scythia, we seal a deal with a kiss.”
She pursed her lips.
“Once you do this, there’s no going back,” Tehl warned in her ear.
Sage leaned closer, not losing eye contact, and kissed one cheek, then the other.
“It is done,” he whispered, his breath washing over her face.
“It’s done,” she repeated.
For better or worse, she’d just made a deal with the warlord of Scythia.
Sage
“You’re going to sleep the day away, Sage. Get up.”
She yawned and ignored Tehl’s voice, snuggling into the bed. When was the last time she’d slept in?
“Remember whose bed you’re sleeping in. How are you so sure he won’t come and join you?”
A tingle ran up her spine and she stiffened. She wasn’t so sure, but the warlord had yet to try anything. “I don’t believe the warlord will harm me,” she muttered. “He wants peace, I can tell. Now go away.”
A voice as smooth as whiskey washed over her. “Now, that’s just rude.”
Sage jerked up, slipping her dagger from beneath her pillow, gritting her teeth as her whole body screamed with the unexpected move. She blinked repeatedly, her eyes still not focusing right, and frowned at the warlord sitting beside her bed.
“What are you doing here?” Her tone was a little harsh, but this was the second time in a handful of hours he’d shown up in her room, silent as a wraith.
Zane blinked at the dagger and sniggered. “I think that was the weakest threat I’ve ever received.”
A grimace pulled her lips down as she glared at her shaking hand.
“Put your dagger down, wild one.” He stifled his smile when she turned her glare on him. “Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all.
“I’m sure,” she muttered.
“Who were you speaking to?” he asked, changing the subject.
“No one,” she responded automatically. How much had he heard of her conversation with Tehl?
“It didn’t sound like no one.”
“It was a dream.” That was partially true. She hadn’t been dreaming, but Tehl certainly was not real.
The warlord cocked a brow. “You’re lying.”
She kept her face impassive. “No, I’m not. My husband can tell you I talk in my sleep.”
He shifted his hulking figure in the small chair and steepled his fingers. “Sometimes, when someone suffers a traumatic event in their lives, they experience certain things that are not healthy. These can be nightmares, flashbacks, being on edge, paranoia, and hallucinations. These things happen when your mind can’t handle what you experienced. Sometimes, your mind will block those memories to protect itself. I’ve seen it with my men.” A pause. “Blair reported to me what your journey was like.”
She pulled her gaze away from his knowing eyes and stared instead at the wall over his shoulder. She’d do anything to lock away her memories of Rhys.
“I’ve also seen your scars. All of them.”
Her spine straightened. “Excuse me? What do you mean, ‘all of them’?”
He ignored her question. “I have someone I want you to speak with.”
She rubbed at her head. It was like he was speaking another language. “What do you want from me? Speak plainly.”
“I want a healer to assess you.”
“Why? What are you looking for?” she asked.
“Nothing. He is going to speak with you. That’s all.”
“That’s it? He won’t touch me?”
The warlord stood. “He won’t touch you. In fact, he’s waiting right outside. May I send him in?”
She blinked. The warlord had asked. He hadn’t demanded or done what he wanted. He’d asked.
“I guess that’s okay.”
He smiled at her and nodded to the cup next to the bed. “Drink your broth.”
She reached out and took a sip from the mug.
Satisfied, he strode to the door and whispered something to someone out of sight before an extremely tall man entered. It was almost an impossible task for Sage to keep her mouth from hanging open. His white hair shone like a beacon in the dim light. She sucked in a sharp breath as his magenta eyes met hers.
A Sirenidae.
“This is Ezra,” the warlord said. “He will visit you every day from now on.” He cast a glance at her and walked backward toward the door. “I’ll visit you later in the day, and Maeve will be by to help you bathe.”
Sage nodded, noting the warlord’s departure, but refusing to take her eyes from the man now staring at her. He moved to a divan at the end of the bed and sat down, just observing. Her gaze darted to the door and back to the him. She wet her lips, not sure what she should say.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
His eyes tilted up at the corners when he smiled, making him even more handsome, if that were possible. She patted at her hair, self-conscious of her state of dress.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Sage. But that’s not what you were going to say, was it?” He arched a brow.
“You have unique eyes,” she said slowly, gauging his reaction.
His head tipped to the side as he studied her. “You know what I am. Intriguing. So, you’ve been in the company of a Sirenidae before. Well, a story for another day, I’m sure.”
She blinked. She didn’t expect him to be so candid about it. “How did you come to be here?”
He waved a hand at her. “My story is short and boring, but I would very much like to learn about you.”
Immediately, she was on guard. What information was he after? “My name is Sage Blackwell, and I’m the daughter of a swordsmith.”
“A humble beginning.”
“A perfect beginning,” she corrected.
“Indeed. There’s nothing better than being raised in the country with a family who loves you.”
The affection in his tone bespoke of a similar life.
“You speak from experience.”
Ezra smiled softly. “You’re now a princess. Why did you leave your happy home?”
“Because it was the right thing to do.” Her generic answer.
“That’s a large burden for you to bear.”
“It had to be done.”
“But surely someone would have stepped up to protect the kingdom?”
“You protected them.”
Glancing down in her mug, she swirled the dark broth. “It’s my duty to, if I’m able.”
“Who protects you?”
“What?” She frowned at the Sirenidae.
“You heard me. Who protects you? Who has shielded you, when you could not shield yourself?”
Her eyes dipped toward Tehl, now sitting in the chair next to her, his face serious.
“My family.”
Ezra nodded. “True, but that’s not who you see.” He jerked his chin toward the chair. “Who are you seeing?”
She startled, and her lips thinned. “No one.”
He held her gaze, his face stern. “Do you know what happens when we push our minds too far?”
She stayed silent. He would tell her whether she wanted to hear it or not.
“They break, and there’s no coming back.” He paused, his face a mask of seriousness. “If you indulge your hallucinations, your mind will fracture. Can you honestly tell me you could rule a kingdom and protect your people with a fractured mind?”
Marq flashed through her mind. “No,” she replied honestly.
“Then you need to let your hallucinations go. Don’t encourage them, and don’t speak to them.” He stood from the couch and bowed to her. “I wish you a speedy recovery.” His long legs quickly ate up the distance to the door and he disappeared, the door clicking shut quietly behind him. He was gone as quick as he came.
“He’s right, you know,” she murmured, not looking in Tehl’s direction. It was unhealthy to indulge her hallucinations.
“I know, but you can’t wish me away just like that,” Tehl said, his tone solemn. “I’m part of you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I have to,” she whispered to the empty room.
Sage
Tehl didn’t disappear. He was stubborn, that one. He still spoke to her, but now she ignored him.
The Sirenidae had made a good point that first day they’d met. She wanted a healthy mind, and a future. If she kept going the direction she was, she’d end up like Marq, broken and half crazy, hurting the people around her.
Each day came easier, and slowly she settled into a routine. Ezra would visit her in the morning for a brief time. Sometimes they would talk, other times they would sit in comfortable silence. Each day, she grew a little stronger. The warlord always made sure to help her walk, and let a little more light in each day, so her eyes would continue to adjust. It was frustrating to be cooped up in the room, though. She wanted to explore, to get to know the people here.
Maeve’s visits, though, slowed to a trickle and eventually stopped. When she asked about the woman, the warlord joked, “Am I not enough?” and that was that.
Days went by, each of them like a dream. She didn’t really have a perception of time or even reality anymore. So, one day she shared this with Ezra.
“Do you ever feel like your life is one big dream?”
He set his cup down and watched her in his gentle way. “How so?”
“Like you’re not sure what’s real. Like the world is moving around you, but you can’t see it. You just have a vague feeling that things are changing.”
“You feel disconnected.”
“Exactly. I’m stuck here in this bed with no way of knowing what is going on. I can barely walk. I’m so frustrated I could pull my hair out. I long to see the sun.” She sighed. “I miss my home. Do you understand that? Everything I do seems empty. The only joys I have are when you and Zane visit.”
Ezra jerked. “Zane?”
She blushed. “He gave me leave to use his name.”
“I see. He’s a good friend to you.”
Was he her friend? Sage smiled. “He is.”
“The warlord has sacrificed much for you. I hope you realize what an honor it is to be held in such esteem.”
“You mean because I’m not Scythian?”
“Yes. There’s a reason only myself and the warlord visit you. There have been many attempts on your life. We’ve managed to thwart all of them, but it’s been a bloodbath since you arrived.” He smiled and shrugged a shoulder at her horror. “The things we do for peace, right? And the ones we care about,” he tacked on.
“It’s worth it.”
“Indeed. Now…” He slapped his hands against his thighs. “Would you like to take a turn about your room?”
Her body was riddled with fatigue, but she wouldn’t turn away a chance to move. She hated being stuck in the bed. “Yes, please.”
She’d lost some of her self-consciousness over the last few weeks. It wasn’t ideal to rely on someone else, but Ezra and Zane had been extremely gracious about assisting her.
She peeked up at the Sirenidae as he helped her from the bed. “We’ve been speaking for some time now, and I still don’t know much about you. How did you come to be here?” she asked.
He stiffened for a moment before continuing their shuffle around the room. “My family was taken from me, and the warlord offered me a chance to help others, so I took it.”
“I’m so sorry about your family.” Losing her own family, even if temporarily, was extremely painful.
His gaze intensified as he looked down at her.
Was there something on her face? She lifted a brow in question.
He smiled at her and tightened his grip on her waist. “Sage, you’re a special girl. I’m sorry for the tragedy in your life.”
She nodded, accepting his sympathy, and they both fell into silence, finishing their walk. Ezra helped her into bed and left her with a small bow, his shoulders stiff. When he closed the door, she wanted to slap herself, and, to her horror, cry. Obviously, bringing up his family had been a mistake, and she hoped desperately that it wouldn’t ruin their new friendship. She was short on friends these days.
The warm water lapped at her skin, relaxing her. Sage had come to love the hexagonal bathing pool. It was a luxury to be able to swim and bathe at the same time. A smile turned her lips up. Maybe she could convince Tehl to install one.
“Sage, wake up.”
Speak of the devil. She kept her eyes closed and ignored him while attempting to float in the pool.
“Woman, listen to me. You’re not alone.”
She smoothed her arms along the water. He’s not real, Sage. Ignore him.
“You’re going to die.”
Her eyes snapped open, her gaze seeking Tehl. Sage sputtered, flailing in the water, and wrapped her arms around her breasts.
Ezra knelt beside the pool, his face looking infinitely sad as he leaned toward her.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” she screeched, blinking water out of her eyes. “Get out!”
He dipped his finger into the water and drew a pattern. “You’re too good for our world, Sage. You shouldn’t be here.”
She took a tiny step away from him. Something in his voice was off. It sounded as if someone had died. “Thank you. If you give me a moment, I’ll get dressed and come out to you.”
His lips tipped up, but he didn’t look up from his water drawings. “Do you remember when we spoke of peace?”
Chills erupted along her arms. Something wasn’t right. Why was he bringing that up now? She glided back another step, eying the stairs that led out of the pool. She darted a look to the open door. No guards. Could she make it out of the pool to the outer door? Unlikely.
“Yes,” she said, slowly twisting toward the Sirenidae. She jerked when her gaze clashed with his.
“I want to give you peace,” he whispered, and something akin to determination altered his expression. “I’m going to help you end your suffering.”
She balked and opened her mouth to scream, but he lunged. Water closed around her face as he shoved her under. What the bloody hell? Her feet touched the bottom, and she propelled herself to the surface.
Gasping for air, she pushed toward the stairs, panic building in her breas
t. All she needed to do was make it to the stairs. Her foot landed on one stair, then two, and then three. Hope blossomed. Maybe she would make it.
A shriek flew out of her as a hand grabbed her ankle. Her palms slammed against the stone, and her chin cracked against the step’s edge, clicking her teeth together. Dark spots dotted her vision, and the room swirled. She dug her fingers into the stone as she was pulled back, and kicked at his hand.
“Let. GO!”
He jerked harder, and her nails broke, her hands slipping. She sucked in another breath and screamed, the sound piercing the air, and echoing around the empty room.
She scrambled forward when the hand released her ankle, but she didn’t make it far. Ezra’s arm wrapped around her torso, and his hand slapped across her mouth, cutting off her screams. He towed her back into the pool kicking and screaming.
“Don’t do this,” she pleaded from behind his hand.
“I’m sorry…” His voice broke. “I have to save you from him. I won’t let you be used. You deserve peace after everything you’ve suffered. I’m going to grant you at least that.”
Her eyes widened. He was really going to do it. Ezra was going to drown her.
She pulled in a deep breath through her nose when he kissed the top of her head and pulled her under. All sound disappeared except for Ezra’s soft humming. She struggled against him, bit at his hand, raked her broken nails down his arms. But he didn’t budge. Panic filled her as her lungs burned, begging for air. She flung her head back and crashed it into his face in a blind panic. She needed air. Now. But even that didn’t help. It earned her a hand around her throat.
Unable to hold her breath any longer, she sucked in a breath and choked. Her body spasmed at the invasion in her lungs. It burned. Stories said drowning was peaceful, but those were lies. Her body seized, trying to get rid of the fluid. She tried to claw her way to air, the surface of the pool just above her, taunting her. She gazed at her hair floating around the pool, and closed her eyes. This was how she would die.
Suddenly, something slammed into her, breaking the vise around her torso and throat. She was free. She tried to swim, to move, to do anything, but her body wouldn’t obey. How unfair. Freedom was just an arm’s reach away, and yet she would still drown.