The Tainted Page 14

  “Hazel Bresh, so help me, you’ll eat this soup.”

  She hid her smile as Matt stormed in the next morning wielding soup and a spoon. She scowled at him and savored his surprise as she swiped the spoon from him and almost spilled the soup.

  He eyed her suspiciously as she lifted the first bite to her mouth as if he thought she might throw the bowl at him. After her next two bites, the tension fled his shoulders and he slumped into the chair, his alien eyes flickering between the spoon and her mouth.

  “Stop staring,” she growled.

  “I can’t help it. After your behavior, I expected to deal with a shrew.”

  Hazel glared at him and placed the leftover soup between her legs, her stomach cramping painfully. She’d only eaten half of the soup, but it was threatening to make a second appearance. If she puked, could she hit Matt from here? She grinned at the thought.

  Matt’s tight-lipped smile pulled her from her thoughts.

  “That’s the first time I’ve seen your smile in over a year.”

  Immediately, she stopped grinning.

  He stood and plucked the bowl from the bed, ignoring her reaction. “I’m glad you’re eating.”

  “I was hungry.”

  He snorted. “Clearly, on the account you’ve been starving yourself. Doc says you haven’t eaten anything substantial in a week.”

  “Doc shouldn’t be talking about my business.”

  “He cares about you.”

  She scoffed. “He cares about my worth.”

  “I care about you.”

  His words were so heartfelt and sincere that sorrow ripped through her and left her cold. She’d mourned her friend. “You should leave.” The words were hollow and unexpected; they just came out.

  His hurt rippled across his face before it disappeared, replaced with a familiar gleam in his eyes that she didn’t like. It was one she’d seen many times growing up. Matt was about to either lose his temper or be blunt.

  “You can’t avoid me, Hazel. You can’t pretend the past hasn’t happened. Stop being so stubborn and talk to me.”

  “What makes you think I would want anything to do with you? My friend died.” Even saying the words hurt.

  “I’m right here.”

  She shook her head. “My Matt died. I mourned him.” Her jaw clenched as her voice broke; tears thickened and clogged her throat.

  “I’m right here, baby. I’m here.”

  He reached out to touch her hand, but she shifted out of his reach. “I don’t know you. My Matt would’ve never left me alone.”

  His lips thinned, and she tried not to flinch; the corners of his fangs were slightly visible. “There’s so much you don’t understand. I couldn’t come to you.”

  That hurt. “You say can’t. I say won’t.”

  Matt smiled at her, but it was more of a baring of teeth. “And you would’ve welcomed me with your arms wide open?” He gestured to his face. “You flinch every time I smile at you and won’t let me touch you.”

  “It’s not because of how you look.” Well, for the most part.

  “Are you serious? You can lie better than that.”

  “You know I can’t.” She was a terrible liar.

  “I do,” he said seriously. “Better than anyone.”

  “You did,” she said softly. She’d changed a lot since his death.

  He threw his hands in the air and then ran them through his hair, a heartbreakingly familiar gesture. “I don’t understand. I thought you’d be as happy to see me as I am you. It’s a miracle we’ve ended up in the same place.”

  “A miracle?” she whispered. “How can you even say that? I’ve been kidnapped, attacked by man, beast, and Tainted.” He winced at her use of the word Tainted, but she continued on. “I’m in a bloody prison, Matty.” As soon as the nickname came out, she wanted to take it back. It was too familiar.

  “You called me Matty. I missed that.”

  She stared blankly at him for a moment as her emotions bubbled and churned before detonating. “I missed you! I missed you as I planned your funeral. I missed you as I placed flowers at your grave. I missed you sitting on the porch with me. I missed your smile, your humor, your kindness. I felt like it was me that had died some days. Like I wasn’t even myself, because you had taken a part of me.”

  Her grief welled up, so acute and painful that she could barely breathe.

  “I cried myself to sleep for months. You were my best friend, my other half. And then, one day, you were just gone. Everyone continued on like the world hadn’t just shifted beneath their feet. Like the world still made sense. But nothing made sense,” she choked out.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, his eyes gleaming. “Haz, you know I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. I love you.”

  Hazel furiously swiped at her wet cheeks, his words almost breaking her, but they weren’t enough. Talk was cheap, and actions spoke louder than words. His actions had proved that he didn’t care enough. “I appreciate the words, but…”

  “But it doesn’t change anything,” he said grimly, lines bracketing his mouth as he frowned.

  She glanced away from the utter destruction rippling across his face to the dull light that filtered through the tiny window to her left, ignoring the guilt that pricked her at hurting her best friend. But she couldn’t lie to him about this. She wasn’t the girl he’d left behind, and he wasn’t the boy she’d buried and loved.

  “Hazel, I don’t know what to say…” His voice broke, and she squeezed her eyes shut at the hitch in his breathing. “I don’t know how to make this right. Tell me how I can make this right.”

  Drawing in a deep breath, she turned to him. “We can’t change the past, Matt.”

  His expression crumpled further. “What is this hell?” he whispered.

  “It’s life,” she whispered back.

  Hazel stared at her old friend for a long moment, hating that she couldn’t trust him, hating that he’d left her, and hating that he hadn’t hugged her and said everything would be alright. Her emotions were confounding.

  Not able to bear the pain on his face any longer, she blurted, “Life is crap and then we die, but friends last a lifetime. You’ve hurt me, and we can’t go back to what we were.”

  Matt’s shoulders slumped further, but he pasted on a sardonic grin. “Other than the obvious?” He gestured to his fangs and slitted, snake-like eyes.

  “Among other things,” she murmured. “Even though we can’t change the past, it’s not easily forgotten. And I don’t want to forget.” Her eyes began to burn again.

  “They were good times,” he said, smiling.

  “The best,” she agreed. All her favorite memories had Matt in them. That wasn’t something to take lightly, despite his abandonment. She shoved her hand out abruptly between them. Matt blinked at it and then glanced to her face. “I propose a new start.”

  Another blink.

  She cleared her throat and glared at her arm as it began to tremble. She’d lost so much strength in such little time. “I’m Hazel.”

  Matt’s smile started small and widened, exposing all of his teeth as if he was testing her. Hazel didn’t flinch back or waver. She was made of stronger stuff. She was like her mother. A relieved puff of breath passed her lips as he reached out and shook her hand slowly.

  “I’m Matt.”

  “What large teeth you have,” she muttered, smiling slightly.

  He released her hand, his eyes glittering with mirth. “How long have you been waiting to use that?”

  “Since I saw your teeth.”

  Chuckling, he slapped his knees and then reached out to cradle her hand between his. “I’ll always be your friend.” He sighed. “There are things we need to talk about.”

  He always had to push. At least, that wasn’t something new. “Not now…” She sighed. Her eyelids felt so heavy. The conversation had exhausted her.

  “You can’t hide from the truth.”

  She pulled her hand
from his and rubbed at her eyes. “When have I ever hid from the truth?”

  “Never, but then again, you claim that you’re not the same girl I used to know.”

  “Can’t this be enough for now?” Hazel stared blurrily in his direction.

  Matt studied her, then nodded. “For now.”

  “Now, get out,” she commanded as she scooted down into the bed.

  “You always were grumpy when you got tired.”

  “Everyone’s grumpy when they’re tired.” She yawned and snuggled into her pillow, her eyes drifting closed. “Name one person who’s happy and chipper when they’re tired,” she murmured.

  “You’ve got me there.” The chair creaked as he stood. She stilled as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see you later.”

  Hazel didn’t respond and kept her eyes closed until the door closed behind him and she could no longer hear his footsteps. Dust motes danced in the air as she curled her hand around the blade hidden underneath her pillow.

  Everything she’d said to Matt was the truth. She’d meant every word, and yet … guilt nagged at her. Hazel had never been one to hold grudges. He’d hurt her, but eventually, the wound would heal like they all did, and she’d move on. But making peace with Matt served two purposes this time. One, he deserved a second chance; and two, she wasn’t going to stay in this hole forever.

  And Matt? Well, he was her ticket to escape.

  Eighteen

  Hazel

  It was almost comical to see how startled Doc was when he entered the room. The door thumped against the wall as he gaped at her. Hazel blushed and patted at her hair. She’d done the best she could to braid the rat’s nest.

  “Is it that bad?” she asked.

  He snapped his mouth shut and moved into the room with lithe grace. “You look lovely.”

  Hazel snorted. “Even I know I look like roadkill.”

  Doc grinned over his shoulder as he unpacked the bag full of medical supplies. The smell of fresh bread filled the room, and her mouth began to water as he pulled two wrapped packages out of the bag.

  “I thought you’d like something other than broth this morning,” he said cheerily.

  She swore drool rolled down her chin as he handed her the thick slice of bread covered in butter. “That smells amazing.” Memories of her mama bustling around the kitchen while she sat on the counter sneaking berries and bread crumbs from the cutting board slammed into her. “Thank you,” she said, taking a deep bite. “Oh my gosh, this is so good.”

  Doc coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, smiling wryly. “Do you want me to give you some alone time with the bread?”

  Hazel rolled her eyes and took another bite, groaning. “Don’t judge me. It’s so good.”

  “I’ll tell Noah you said so.”

  She froze, the bread turning to ash in her mouth. The monster had made the bread?

  Doc scowled. “Stop looking like you’re going to drop dead any moment. Do you think I’d let him poison one of my patients?”

  It wasn’t that she thought the monster would kill her. It was more that she didn’t want to touch anything he’d touched, let alone put it in her body.

  “You eat all of that,” Doc said sternly, his amber eyes glinting. “If you don’t, well … I won’t take you to the baths.”

  “Baths?” What wouldn’t she give for a proper bath? She squinted, trying to remember how long it had been. Six weeks? Maybe longer? She didn’t even know how long she’d been in this cell. But the one thing she knew for sure was the sponge baths weren’t cutting it anymore. She peeked at the pot in the corner. The pee pot was getting old too.

  Slowly, she took another bite and chewed while staring Doc down. She’d eat everything the monster made if it meant she could escape this room. He quirked a smile and sat on the bed.

  “Left hand.”

  Obediently, she held her left hand out for his inspection while systematically eating her bread, even though she didn’t have much of an appetite left. His auburn hair fell forward, shielding his eyes, his ears twitching with each of her movements as he checked her abused wrists. They’d scar, for sure, but at least she was alive.

  Shame welled up inside her; she shoved it down ruthlessly, so the bread wouldn’t make a second appearance after she finished the last bite. Fear did something to a person. She’d made the right choice now, and that was brave.

  His right ear twitched again, and an involuntary giggle slipped out. Doc glanced up from his work, his amber eyes peeking at her from beneath his fringe of hair.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Sure,” he drawled, returning to his work.

  His ears looked so soft and cute. They kind of made her want to pet him. Without thought, she reached her right hand out and touched the tip of his ear. Doc froze but didn’t recoil. Fascinated at the silky texture, she ran her fingers over the deep red fur covering his ears. “So soft,” she whispered.

  Doc let her explore and then slowly pulled her hand from his hair. Mortification swamped her as she saw the expression on his face. It was one part amused, one part hot. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and gave her a roguish smile.

  “I feel that I should warn you that you’ve officially moved into mating ground.”

  “Mating what?” she blurted.

  He waved his left hand toward his ears. “Women only ever touch a man’s ears if she’s interested in being his life partner.”

  “Life partner?” she squeaked. “I wasn’t—”

  “I know,” he hushed her. “As titillating as that experience was, I don’t believe kits are in our future, and I wanted you to become comfortable with me.”

  She shook her head hard, her messy braid swinging in the air. “No kits.” What a weird way of saying children. “I’m sorry for getting into your personal space.”

  He smiled at her gently and patted her arm. “Don’t worry about it. Right hand.”

  Hazel watched at he pulled the gauze from her right wrist. “You have very nice ears,” she said awkwardly. “They suit you.”

  Doc chuckled. “Thank you, Hazel. I’m glad you like them.”

  “Is that the only thing that’s different…?”

  He smeared a pungent salve across her wrist and began wrapping it again. “The ears are the only visible change to my body. My sight and hearing are better than an Untouched.”

  “Untouched?” she asked.

  “Someone who’s not been blessed with the change.”

  “You mean human.”

  Doc tied the gauze and stared at her hard. “Am I not human?”

  That wasn’t a question she’d let herself think about. “I don’t know what you are.”

  “When I look at you, I see a strong, brave girl who’s been through some bad situations and has succeeded despite fear and heartbreak. What do you see when you look at me?”

  What did she see? Doc had treated her with care and concern since she’d arrived, even though she’d treated him poorly. “I see a kind, generous soul who cares for the needs of others.”

  “Neither of us described how each other physically look. Why should our appearances have anything to do with how human we are? It’s what we do that shows how much humanity we have.”

  His words rang true. Aaron’s face flashed through her mind. She’d met her fair share of monsters that wore a human face. “That we agree on. I was never one to judge a book by its cover, but you have to admit” – she waved a hand at the room – “all of this is a little much. And not all of you are human by your standards.” The winged monster would never be human in her mind.

  “Don’t allow prejudice to take root in your heart.”

  Prejudice. What an ugly word. She’d seen it growing up and it always sickened her. The color of one’s skin did not matter. The way a person dressed did not matter. A person’s prominence didn’t matter. All that mattered was what kind of person you were. That’s what Hazel l
ooked at, anyhow. Then why was it so hard to think that way when it came to the Tainted? “Is Untouched a slur like Tainted?”

  Doc winced. “Yes and No. It depends who you’re talking to.”

  “The monster didn’t like it.”

  “I’m sure Noah didn’t. He’s a sensitive sort.”

  Hazel huffed out a breath. “That I highly doubt.”

  “What was that about judging a book by its cover?” Doc murmured, arching a brow.

  “I’m not judging him by his looks. I’m judging him by his actions.” A fissure of fear went down her spine at the way he’d threatened her before.

  Doc cocked his head, his eyes narrowing. “What has he done?”

  “Nothing,” she whispered. What could Doc do for her? Nothing. What the monster threatened didn’t matter.

  He pushed from the bed and hastily scooped his supplies back into his bag, startling her. “I’m going to put these back in the infirmary, and then I’ll come get you for that bath.” He smiled at her and then was gone.

  Hazel stared at the door. What in the blazes had just happened?

  Nineteen

  Noah

  He could smell Doc’s anger before his friend stormed into the infirmary. Noah crossed his arms and watched in silence as the kitsune tossed his bag onto the cot with more force than necessary.

  “What’s got you so angry?” he asked as Doc paced the red dirt room.

  Doc whirled, his amber eyes turned to slits. “You,” he growled. “You’re despicable.”

  Noah chuckled. How unoriginal. “That’s nothing new. Would you remind me of what I did this time? It’s hard to keep up.”

  Doc’s face darkened to a deep shade of red. “You threatened her.”

  Understanding dawned. The little Untouched viper had obviously been filling the kitsune’s head with stories. “She’s spinning tales, is she?”