Queen of Monsters and Madness Page 47

  “Fishing, you say?” Jacob asked, rocking in his chair.

  “Yes, fishing.”

  Now all he needed was the proper bait, and Ruth would be just to their taste.

  Sage

  “I’m ready to leave this blasted room,” Sage said, glancing away from the velvety night sky.

  Tehl glanced up from the book he was reading, his forehead all wrinkled. “What was that?”

  A little bit of warmth seeped into her heart at how mussed and disoriented he appeared, like he’d been yanked from a completely different world. “What are you reading?”

  He placed his book on his lap and shrugged. “A little bit of nonsense.”

  That she did not expect. Tehl was always so practical. Very few times had she ever seen him show a shred of whimsy. “You? Prone to a little bit of drivel, are we?” she teased.

  “Everyone needs an escape once in a while,” he reasoned.

  His comment was offhand, but it was like cold water had been thrown over her. She was the reason he needed an escape. Each night, he barely slept, because she woke him with her thrashes and crying. Not once did he complain.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” she murmured, turning back to the window.

  “No,” the crown prince said softly. He placed his book on the table next to the fire and gestured to the chair across from him. “I’m quite finished. Why don’t you come and sit with me and tell me what’s on your mind?”

  She arched a brow and plopped into the other chair. “Why do you think there’s anything on my mind?”

  Tehl snorted and crossed his legs at the ankles. “You’ve been pacing for a good two hours, Sage.”

  She hadn’t even noticed. Her mind had been a whirl with so many things, she’d hardly noticed how the night deepened.

  Sage glanced at the fire and stared at the glowing embers, trying to figure out where to start. There were too many things to speak about and not enough time. It made her anxious. He wiggled in his chair to get more comfortable as the silence continued, and she peeked at Tehl from underneath her lashes. That’s one thing she appreciated about him. He didn’t have to fill the silence, and, yet, it didn’t feel uncomfortable when they didn’t speak.

  “I’m ready to leave this room.”

  Tehl nodded but didn’t look her way and continued to stare into the fire like it held the answers to every problem in the world.

  Sage continued. “I’m strong enough to leave this room. I have been for a few days.”

  “I agree with you.”

  She blinked. Well, she hadn’t expected that. She’d expected an argument. “I’m glad.”

  He turned to her and pinned her with his deep blue eyes. “Physically, you are healthy enough to leave this room, but are you prepared for what is outside that door?”

  No, she wasn’t, but she didn’t have time to wait for that. No one did. “I have to be.”

  “The choice is yours,” he said, “but I want you to consider the cost. Little things trigger you. I won’t always be with you, and that leaves you vulnerable to the prying eyes of others.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to retort. “I don’t care what others say, but I do care about how it will affect you. What affects you, affects me. Are you prepared for that?”

  It was difficult letting Tehl help her when an episode overwhelmed her. But to have others witness her weakness? The thought alone made her shudder, but she knew she couldn’t hide forever.

  “I know what it will cost me, but the cost is worth it. I’m needed.”

  “You are needed, but we don’t need to shove you in the middle of everything. I can make arrangements to ease you back into palace life.”

  “We don’t have time for that.” Her throat tightened with the fear that rose up from her belly. Every moment they dallied, was a moment they lost.

  “What do you know of what’s coming?” Tehl asked, his voice grave.

  “If we do not band together, it will be the end of us all.”

  Her ominous words hung in the air, heavy, and as dark as black waves crashing against the bluff.

  The crown prince rubbed a hand across his mouth. “What do you suggest we do?”

  “That’s precisely what I wished to speak to you about. In our acquaintance, we have two individuals who are the bridge to allies we desperately need if we are to win this war.”

  Tehl gazed at her thoughtfully. “You mean Lilja and Rafe?”

  That surprised her. She suspected he knew about Lilja, but not about Rafe. “That’s right. I’m astonished you know about Rafe.”

  “He didn’t tell me willingly, but we’ve reached an understanding all the same.”

  “Good. It will help if he hates you a little less.”

  Tehl chuckled. “I think you’ll be surprised how well we get along these days.”

  “Are you friends?”

  “In loose terms.” He leaned closer, clasping his hands together and hanging them between his knees. “So, you’re proposing an alliance with a mythical race, which hasn’t been seen in hundreds of years, and with the kingdom that just tried to overthrow our crown?”

  She scowled at him. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds idiotic.”

  He held his hands up. “It’s not idiotic—insane maybe, but not idiotic.” His lips twitched as if he was fighting a smile.

  Sage gaped. “You’re teasing me.”

  “Yes. What of it?”

  Who was this man? Her Tehl rarely got the end of a punchline. Her Tehl. Some heat crept into her cheeks. When had she started thinking of him that way? “Nothing, just a delightful surprise.”

  “You think I’m delightful?”

  Of course, he’d hone in on that. “As delightful as a burr in my boot,” she retorted.

  Tehl grinned at her with a twinkle in his eyes. “There she is. I was wondering where my fiery wife had gone.”

  Sage waved a hand at him as he leaned back into his chair, bumping his elbow into the table near the fire. Her eyes narrowed at the book sitting precariously on the edge. The foolish man would burn his book if he wasn’t careful.

  She popped up from her chair and rescued the book, tossing it onto the bed, before sitting back down.

  “That’s no way to treat books,” Tehl commented.

  “Neither is burning them.”

  “It wasn’t going to burn.”

  “Says you.”

  The bickering made her smile. It was comfortable. It felt like home.

  He mirrored her smile before sobering. “So, how do you propose we unite three kingdoms?”

  “We need to approach Lilja and Rafe separately. I think Lilja will be the easier sell.”

  “Because she’s been helping our people all this time?”

  Sage ignored that comment. How much had she helped if she was hiding? “Because she’s my family, and I know…” She forced the words out: “She’s a good person.” She knew it was the truth, but Sage was still hurt. “She’s old enough to understand the stakes. Convincing Lilja will be the easiest.”

  “And Rafe?”

  “He holds sway. How much—” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “He seems too highly educated to be someone lowly.”

  Those were her thoughts, too. Rafe was too arrogant to be common. “Those are my thoughts too, in a way, but he doesn’t give much away. And he’s an excellent liar.”

  “Indeed, he is. He’s helped us so far, more or less, and after…” Tehl paused, pursing his lips. “After our broken delegation in Scythia. I’m sure he’s already reported to Methi.”

  She ignored his comment about the delegation. As it was, the memories were trying to creep up on her, but she wouldn’t let them. “That will work to our benefit. They will already know how dangerous the threat is if they do nothing. Plus, if Aermia falls, so does Methi,” she said. It was the sad, grim truth of it.

  “When would you like to meet with them?”

  “I’ve already sent for Lilja.”

 
Tehl nodded. “I can approach Rafe tomorrow.”

  “I would like us to meet with them in private, if it’s acceptable to you.”

  He blinked. “Together?”

  “Well, we are to rule together, are we not?” she asked, a little stung.

  “It’s not that I don’t desire that, it’s just… You’ve always kept to those you view as yours, and I to mine.”

  “I think it’s time to change that. We can’t afford miscommunications; the stakes are too high.”

  “I agree. What time would you like me to be here to meet with Lilja?”

  “After dinner perhaps.”

  “Would you like me to take dinner with you?”

  The request was shy, so sweet that it made her feel both happy and unworthy. Happy that he’d want to eat with her. Unworthy that he’d spend his time with a soiled creature.

  “I’d like that. Maybe we should send for dinner for Lilja and Hayjen as well. Negotiations are always better on a full stomach.”

  “You are quite right.”

  They lapsed into silence, each lost to their own thoughts. Sage watched him from the corner of her eye, marveling at how lucky she was to have such a friend.

  “You’re my friend.”

  Tehl startled, his eyes widening. “Where did that come from?”

  “The proper response is ‘Sage, you’re my friend as well.’”

  “Sage, you’re much more than my friend. You’re my consort.”

  His words echoed in her ears, and her fingernails sunk into the arms of the seat. “Don’t call me that.” Her words were full of venom and darkness. She was no one’s consort. Never again.

  Tehl reached between their chairs and brushed his fingertips along her left hand. “I won’t call you that again.”

  “Ever,” she whispered.

  “Ever,” he promised. “Release the chair, love, or you’ll hurt your hands.”

  She didn’t move.

  “I’d hate for you to damage your hands. Think of all the daggers you won’t be able to throw.”

  Sage gritted her teeth and focused on her husband’s face. “That’s not as funny as you thought it was.”

  He graced her with a lopsided grin. “True, but it got you back to the present, didn’t it?”

  It did. “Thank you,” she said, forcing her hands to release their death grip on the chair.

  The warlord seemed to haunt her every waking hour, but there was one thing in particular she’d been dreaming about that terrified her, even in the bright light of day. One nightmare she could put to rest if she did one simple thing.

  “I’m having Mira examine me tomorrow.”

  Tehl jerked, his mouth bobbing. “Sage…”

  She held up her hand. “My mind has been made up. It needs to be done.”

  His gaze took a tender edge, and he clasped her right hand between his own. “I don’t expect that of you. It’s not needed. I trust your word.”

  Tears clogged her throat. “I was drugged many times. I don’t know what happened to my body.” Her voice cracked. “I’d like to think I would know, but the truth is I don’t. And despite everything he said… He’s a mad man, not to be trusted.” She swallowed heavily. “Our children could be called into question; that is reason enough.”

  His nostrils flared. “They’ll accept any child from you if I accept it.”

  “That’s what makes you a good man, but I can’t live with that. Also—” She squeezed her eyes closed, keeping her tears at bay. “I need to know for myself. I can’t keep imagining the worst.”

  His jaw worked as he thought about it. From the surly expression on his face, he clearly didn’t like it. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asked, hesitantly, looking in every direction but at her.

  Her heart squeezed, and the world shifted around her. Of all the things he could have done or said to make Sage love him. It was that. Clearly, it made him uncomfortable, and, to be honest, she was, too. Not to mention that it wasn’t done. Men didn’t accompany women to examinations, let alone princes. But he knew it would be hard for her, and he didn’t want her to be alone. That was true companionship.

  “No, thank you.”

  He nodded, still not looking her way.

  Sage scooted to the edge of her seat and placed a hand on his cheek, causing his gaze to clash with hers. “I am lucky, indeed, to be married to such a fine man.” She dropped a small kiss on to his left cheek and leaned back.

  Tehl reached up and held her hand to his cheek. “We’ll make it through this.”

  “Together.”

  “Together,” he whispered back.

  Sage

  “You’re pacing.”

  Sage cast a glance Tehl’s way, and then she continued her route across his study. When he’d suggested they meet Lilja in his study, she’d jumped at the chance. But the longer she was away from something familiar, the more jittery she became.

  She shook out her hands and bounced on the tips of her toes as she stopped in front of a huge wall lined with books. Her hands itched to pull out the old tomes from the shelves and crack them open, just to see what secrets they held. Her nose wrinkled as she peered closer at the ones at her eyeline. Royal House of Aermia and the Laws of Aermia. Maybe those held too many secrets.

  Her gaze flitted up the bookshelf, her attention snagging on a deep blue book with faded gold filigree adorning the spine. It looked out of place among the sea of brown, tan, and black spines surrounding it.

  Without meaning to, she stretched for it, but it was well beyond her reach. Sage stepped up onto the bookshelf and extended again, barely missing her mark. A gurgle sounded behind her, and heat swamped her back as a solid arm slid around her waist.

  “I look away for one moment and you climb things,” Tehl growled. “What part of ‘take it easy’ did you not comprehend?”

  Sage scowled at the books and wiggled in his grasp. “I was trying to reach a book.”

  “Clearly.” A sigh. “Which one?”

  She tipped her head back and pointed to the elusive blue book. “That one.”

  He chuckled, ruffling the hair at her neck. “I should have known.”

  Tehl reached over her head and deftly pulled the book from the shelf with ease. She glared at his hand as he pulled her from the bookshelf and held the book out to her. Tall people sure had it easy.

  She plucked it from his hand and stepped away from him. “Thank you,” she said mulishly.

  A snort. “Don’t sound too grateful,” he retorted, his voice drifting away.

  A sigh escaped her. She wasn’t unthankful; she was tired of others doing things for her when she could do them for herself. But she needed to be reasonable. They were just helping. Turning on her heel, she strode to Tehl’s desk and crowded next to him until he looked up at her with a raised brow.

  “Thank you.”

  He studied her for a moment and dipped his chin. “You’re welcome.” He pointed his quill at her treasure. “Are you going to open it?”

  Sage brushed her hand gently across the cover and opened it with care. A smile graced her face as she read the title.

  Gifts from the Sea.

  Of all the books to pick up, she’d picked one about the sea. She turned another page, the musty scents of aged paper and old ink greeting her like old friends. How long had it been since she’d read a book? It seemed like such a luxury.

  Her gaze bounced back to the practical tomes adorning the shelves. “This doesn’t seem like it fits.”

  “It doesn’t.” Tehl shuffled a few papers to the side and leaned back in his chair, his gaze distant as he stared out of the adjacent windows toward his balcony. “My father spent a great deal of time in this room. My mother snuck in here to work on her correspondence.” A smile. “Misery loves company. But when she didn’t have work, she came and read. My parents didn’t need to talk, they just enjoyed being in the company of each other.”

  Her gaze darted down to the book in her hands. “This is your mother
’s?” she asked.

  “It is.”

  She held it out to him, feeling uncomfortable. She didn’t mean to touch something that was clearly precious to his family. He looked up at her and gently pushed it back toward her. “You take it. It’s collecting dust on that shelf anyway. My mum gained joy from trading books with others. I’m sure she would have given it to you herself if she were here. Plus—” He glanced at the bookshelves and to the chairs clustered next to the open balcony doors. “It would do Father’s heart good to find you here reading sometime.”

  That sounded like an invitation. “And you wouldn’t mind?”

  “You’re quiet enough.” His lips curved into a smile. “I’ve found I like company when I’m being forced to do something I hate.”

  Her lips tipped up. “Misery loves company?”

  “Something like that.”

  A knock.

  Sage straightened and placed her book carefully on the desk.

  “Enter,” Tehl called.

  Garreth opened the door. “Lilja and Hayjen are here for you.”

  “Send them in.”

  She braced herself as Hayjen strolled into the room. His face was placid, but his ice blue eyes held a wealth of emotion that she promptly ignored. Emotion had no place in this conversation. Lilja commanded Sage’s attention as she swept into the room, her citrus scent teasing the air.

  Tehl stood and gestured to the chairs and refreshments near the balcony. “Please sit.”

  Sage jumped when a hand settled on the small of her back. She glanced up into Tehl’s heartbreakingly handsome face. “Yes?”

  “You ready to sit down?”

  “Yes.”

  She allowed him to guide her to the chairs and sat much less gracefully than the Sirenidae, now staring at her with fathomless magenta eyes, had.

  An awkward silence settled over the group as Sage stared at her friends-turned-family. The ones who’d lied to her. She blew out a breath. Today wasn’t about personal feelings. Today was about bridging divides.

  “You know why you’re here,” she said.

  Lilja nodded. “You want a meeting.”

  “We do,” Tehl rumbled.

  “They won’t help,” her aunt said. Her tone was matter-of-fact.