Queen of Monsters and Madness Page 54

  Jasmine snorted. “I look like a china doll dressed up like this.”

  Sage smirked, knowing the feeling well. She still wasn’t comfortable wearing such expensive clothing, but she’d stopped fighting her ladies-in-waiting as long as there were not jewels on the dresses. She drew the line there. “You fit right in.”

  “I fit in with all the strutting peacocks, eating and drinking like we’re not on the verge of war,” Jasmine said in a disgusted tone.

  If Sage hadn’t experienced the court before, she would’ve thought the same thing. The people may have seemed carefree, but there was an underlying tension that thrummed through the air. Everyone was scared, but they had to go on with their day-to-day lives.

  “Not everything is as it seems.”

  Jasmine flashed her a brilliant smile that would make any courtier proud in its veneer. “That is the first truthful statement I heard tonight.” Her gaze wandered to the wolfish blond.

  Sage followed her gaze and kept her face blank. “He’s not as nice as he looks.”

  “Maybe I’m not looking for nice.”

  She turned to Jas, brows raised. “I don’t want to see you hurt, or the twins,” she tacked on.

  “He won’t get near the twins,” Jas murmured. “This means nothing.”

  “Okay. Don’t get yourself in too deep. I’m always here for you.”

  “And that’s why I love you.” Jasmine steered them toward the group of men.

  Tehl glanced at Sage, giving her a half smile.

  “Speaking of deep, your prince can’t keep his eyes off of you. I’m glad he’s worthy of your love.”

  Startled, Sage gaped at her friend. “Who said anything of love?”

  Jasmine chuckled. “It was written across your face and his when he found you.”

  She blushed. Could Tehl see it, too?

  “My advice?” Jas said softly. “Life is too short to waste on misunderstandings. One thing I learned in that godforsaken place was to cherish every day you have with those you love. Don’t be a coward.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’ve seen you stand up to horrid monsters. You can take the first step and seize your happiness. You deserve it.”

  Wise advice, indeed, albeit scary. Even thinking about saying those three little words out loud caused her heart to speed up.

  “What about yourself? If you’re giving advice, you might as well be able to take it yourself.”

  “Love is not in the cards for me. I have two little ones I have to raise. I don’t have time for that.”

  “And the blond?”

  Jasmine smiled. “A diversion.”

  “Be careful,” Sage whispered as they neared the group.

  Her friend squeezed her arm. “Always.”

  Jasmine released Sage’s arm and smiled at the group. “What sort of things have you all been speaking about?”

  “Things that will shock your womanly sensibilities,” the blond commented.

  “That I can’t believe. There’s not much that can shock me.”

  “Joshua and I were speaking of hunting,” Tehl interrupted as awkward as ever.

  Sage grinned at Jasmine and slipped her arm into the crook of Tehl’s elbow. At least she knew the wolf’s name. “And what do you hunt?”

  “A number of things, my lady,” he said, a small smile tugging at his mouth as he stared at Jasmine.

  Sage smiled at him, but it was more of a baring of teeth. The bastard couldn’t have been more suggestive if he tried. “You should try your hand in the training ring.”

  He laughed, the sound haughty. “I’m much too busy for such things.”

  Sage tensed. “Such things as protecting your kingdom?” She smiled at Tehl, despite the blank expression on his face. “My lord, my husband, spends a great deal of time there.”

  She hid her smug smile as Joshua’s smile slipped.

  “Forgive me, I meant no offense.” He sketched a bow.

  “No offense taken.” Sage waved him away and cuddled closer to Tehl’s arm. “I find myself quite exhausted after the day’s events, my lord.”

  Tehl eyed her. “It has been quite harrowing.” He smiled blandly at the group. “Good evening.”

  Murmured goodnights followed them as Tehl towed her away from the group, his steps brisk. Swamp apples. The crown prince was not happy. “Will you tell me what I did that angered you, or will you brood all the way back to our room?”

  “You can’t help yourself?” Tehl sighed. “You just made an enemy of a duke’s son.”

  “He was a pompous windbag who looked at Jasmine in a way I didn’t like.”

  “I’m sure Jasmine could have handled it on her own, love.”

  She frowned. “I’m not so sure.” She peeked up at Tehl. “I’m worried about her, and he’s a snake in the grass. I can feel it.”

  He paused at the bottom of the stairs and tipped his chin down to look at her. “Don’t worry. Sam is watching over her.”

  “Sam?”

  “Yes. Sam knows of Joshua’s tricks. He won’t allow anything to happen to Jasmine.”

  Somewhat soothed, Sage followed Tehl up the stairs.

  At least she wouldn’t have to deal with the fool.

  Jasmine

  She gazed past the blond duke’s shoulder, blankly staring at the deep blue velvet curtain. Had the twins been put to bed already? Of course, they had. It was past their bedtime.

  His lips traveled down her jaw to her neck. Her gaze traced the silver scrolls on the draperies, feeling nothing.

  “You’re so beautiful, love,” he muttered against her skin.

  Love. How cliché. She doubted he even knew her name.

  Jasmine squinted, her brow furrowing. Damn. She didn’t know his name, either. What was it? Jesse? James? Josh… Joshua! That’s what it was. Not that it mattered. She wouldn’t remember his face an hour from now. She never remembered any of them. They didn’t matter. None of this mattered.

  Joshua pulled back, his grey eyes smug as he pressed her back into the stone wall. “As soon as I laid eyes on you tonight, I was enchanted.”

  She sighed. The last thing she wanted was to hear him speak. She wanted oblivion, the numbness and condemning silence that came with hands upon her skin.

  Jas ran her hands up his silk vest and seized his lapels in her hands, crushing the dainty, expensive fabric. A snort almost escaped her. The pink silk was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever seen on a man.

  He grinned wolfishly and pressed his palms on the wall above her head. “You’re not much for talking, are you?”

  “Talking is overrated,” she whispered.

  “On that, my fair lady, I must agree,” he said, bridging the gap between them.

  Her eyes closed of their own volition as Joshua attacked her mouth in what she thought was supposed to be a kiss. It was more of a mauling.

  She shifted her face to the side, and Joshua happily continued to kiss whatever skin he could get to. A shiver worked through her when he breathed near her ear.

  “You like that, do you?” he rasped.

  It tickled.

  His hands left the wall and made their presence known low on her hips. Jasmine stared into the darkness wishing she could just disappear. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough, she’d disappear into the wind like the seeds of a wishing flower. Forever scattered.

  A sigh escaped her, and his lips curled into a smile. “Like that?”

  No. She couldn’t feel anything. Her soul was numb. There wasn’t a flicker of disgust or heat. Just a gaping maw of nothingness. It was a pressing of skin together. Nothing more.

  His hand drew circles on her hips and then skated forward. Every muscle locked up in her body as his fingers grazed her belly. Her breathing became shallow as she fought the heat behind her eyes. Her fingers curled into fists, and she blinked repeatedly. He didn’t notice the slight swell, but she felt it keenly. No matter how much she tried, there was no forgetting. Nothing could undo the crimes. The knowledge of what h
ad been taken.

  Jasmine squinted as light flooded into the cove, and she glanced away, trying to clear her vision.

  “If you do not wish to be betrothed by morning, I suggest you leave now,” a cultured voice said with humor.

  She got control of herself and avoided Samuel’s gaze. No matter where she went, he seemed to pop up. He wasn’t her caretaker. If only he’d leave her alone.

  Joshua jerked away from her as if burnt and turned to grin at the man she could scarcely escape.

  Sam leaned against the wall, the picture of relaxation as he took in the scene. Jasmine tugged her gown into place and dropped her eyes to the floor as she felt for any hair that might have escaped its confines. It was time to go. She wouldn’t wait around for the lecture that would surely come. Just because he knew her secret didn’t mean he knew her, or what was best for her.

  “I appreciate the warning,” Joshua said, his tone light, if not a little thwarted. “I’ll take my leave.” A finger brushed her cheek, causing her to look up.

  Grey eyes crinkled when he smiled at her. “Goodnight, love.”

  “I’m not your love,” she said, brushing out her skirts. She’d never be anyone’s love.

  “I always did like my women feisty,” he murmured. “Until next time.” He bowed and disappeared from view.

  Good riddance. There would be no next time.

  She rolled her neck and winced as she thought about the long walk to her room. The heeled shoes Sage had lent her were killing her feet. Why would anyone wear these torture devices when flat, soft boots were available?

  She shook out her skirts one more time and brushed by the male still staring at her, ignoring him. If she never had to look at his smug face again, it would be too soon. Her cheeks heated as she remembered sobbing herself into oblivion in his arms. Never again. She’d never allow herself to be that vulnerable with a man again. The heat behind her eyes said otherwise.

  “Not even a ‘thank you’ for getting rid of the toad?” he asked.

  “I could have gotten rid of him without your help, thank you.”

  She gritted her teeth as footsteps approached behind her. She would not break down here. No breaking down. None. She was stronger than that.

  “I really deserve thanks… unless you were trying to trap him into marriage.”

  The comment brought her up short. Her tears dried as anger took its place. Jasmine forced a chuckle out. She couldn’t let him get to her. The prince enjoyed getting a rise out of others. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  “He wouldn’t have married me over a few kisses, and I certainly wouldn’t have married him.” She’d never marry.

  Men like Joshua didn’t care for others. They took, and she had children she had to worry about. Children… Her gaze dropped to her belly. She swallowed thickly and stared straight ahead as she powered down the hallway as fast as she could, the heels rubbing against the blisters on her feet.

  “Well, you and I both know you’ve been kissing your fair share of men recently.”

  Skidding to a stop, she whirled around to glare at the prince. “Excuse me?”

  He smirked and sauntered closer. “You’ve collected quite the harem from what I’ve heard.”

  “That is none of your business,” she hissed, glancing around. There were too many corners for her liking. Anyone could be listening. “Keep your mouth shut and leave me alone.”

  “I would leave you alone if you stopped leaving messes everywhere else,” he retorted. “You have no idea how many of your little ‘escapades’ I’ve had to cover up in the last few weeks. You’re being careless.”

  “I never asked you for that.” She never asked him for anything. Being in debt to someone was not her cup of tea. “I can take care of my own affairs. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

  “No, I will not excuse you,” he said, stepping closer, his blue eyes snapping with anger. “Things aren’t roses and sunshine right now, but you need to abandon this path of self-destruction now before you get hurt.”

  She chuckled. The hurt was already done. No one could hurt her now. They’d have to get past the ice that encased her. “You know nothing about me.”

  “On the contrary,” he whispered, his blue eyes darting between hers. “You’ll be thrown from the palace and be forced to take care of the twins alone if your extracurricular activities are discovered.”

  “Sage wouldn’t abandon me.”

  “There are some things that are too great. Do you think a woman considered having loose morals would be allowed to remain in the princess’s inner circle?”

  Jasmine flinched as if he’d slapped her. His words stung. A woman with loose morals. His face fell as her eyes filled with tears.

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” he said softly.

  “Yes, you did.” She was ruined, but it hurt for someone else to say it. She wiped her cheeks and smiled at him. “Thank you for the speech. I will keep that in mind the next time I tumble someone,” she snarled before spinning on her heel. A large hand curled around her arm and spun her about.

  “What are you—”

  Sam backed her against the wall, his nose touching hers. Her heart pounded as he pressed more of his body along hers. What the hell?

  “Is this what you want? What you’ve been looking for?” he murmured.

  No, it wasn’t. She didn’t want to feel, and, anytime she was around the prince, all she did was feel. Her numbness melted away, leaving behind rage, pain, betrayal, and disgust.

  His hands ghosted down her sides to her hips, and he nuzzled the side of her jaw. “I’ll gladly give you what you seek.” He pulled back and looked her in the eye. “All you have to say is ‘no.’”

  Jasmine stared at him with hate but hated herself more. He was like all the others. She’d heard about the prince’s conquests. She placed her hand around his neck and smiled seductively at the prince, even as a voice in the back of her head told her not to do it. But she ignored the warning. She’d made her bed, and now she had to lie in it. Sam was known for his exploits and never staying with one woman. He was exactly what she was looking for.

  “I’d like to see you try,” she taunted.

  His lips curled. “Challenge accepted, my lady.”

  She closed her eyes, expecting him to paw at her like every other man had, but he didn’t. He breathed with her, chest to chest.

  “Look at me,” he said with a hint of iron in his voice.

  Jasmine opened her eyes, and he brushed a finger along her top and bottom lips before leaning close and pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth. She didn’t close her eyes, and neither did he. They stared at each other. What was this madness? This was the blessed numbness she wanted.

  Samuel brushed a kiss along her cheekbone and then along her jaw. She tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling and sagged into the wall, the cool stone seeping through her gown, guilt pricking her. She pushed it away. What was one more sin to add to her already long list?

  Cool air kissed her ankles, but she hardly cared. She closed her eyes and tried to forget everything around, imagining the cool forest on a morning hunt. How she missed the forests, the worn, smooth wood of her bow in her palm.

  “Check mate,” the prince whispered.

  Her brows furrowed, and she opened her eyes, blinking.

  “This is highly irregular,” a prim voice snapped.

  Jasmine’s attention snapped toward the voice. Five well-dressed women glared at her with varying degrees of disgust.

  A buzzing filled her ears. She’d been ruined publicly, and she didn’t feel a thing.

  Sam

  Sam stared at Jasmine’s blank face. Not a flicker of emotion while the women declared their degrees of shock. In that moment, he second-guessed himself. Had he done the right thing?

  Sam knew what image they painted. Jasmine rumpled, his hand hoisting her skirts up as he pressed himself against her. It was the image he wanted. The image that would change his life forever.


  He’d kept an eye on Jasmine since her breakdown. She put on a good show for everyone, but it was all a lie. He knew an actor when he saw one. The only time she lit up was when she was with the twins. She was a remarkable mother, and that’s what had sealed his decision. He knew how her story would end if she didn’t marry before the babe began to show more than it already was. Even now, he could feel the hard, proud little bump pressing against his stomach.

  Jasmine had tried to help Sage when she didn’t even know her, and that had cost her everything. He wanted to give her something in return, and this was the only way he could think of doing that. She was hell-bent on destroying herself. If she wouldn’t protect herself, he had to.

  Slowly, he lowered her skirts to the floor and smiled boyishly at the older women, wrapping an arm around the stiff Jasmine. He flicked another glance at Jasmine, praying she didn’t ruin the ruse he’d orchestrated.

  “Hello, ladies.”

  “My lord, we did not mean to intrude,” the baroness said, her tone sharp and disapproving. Her lips thinned as she frowned at them, not hiding her thoughts whatsoever.

  “That’s quite all right,” he said grinning. “We were celebrating our betrothal.”

  He kept his smile in place as her thin, graying brows practically climbed to her perfectly coiffed hair. “Betrothed?”

  “Indeed,” he said gaily, hugging Jasmine closer.

  The old crones tittered between themselves, and the baroness pressed forward, reaching a hand out. “My congratulations,” she said, her ember-like gaze sliding to Jasmine at his side. “You are one very lucky woman.”

  Jasmine said nothing. Thank the stars. Silence he could work with.

  Sam tucked her underneath his arm and pressed a kiss to the baroness’s hand. “I’m afraid it grows late, and I have to share the news. Ladies.”